Alone on Earth – Entry #49

January 03, 2017


06:45AM
Dear Diary

Once again, it is snowing. It is a light snow. But, it is still going to be very hazardous on Hwy 90 today. The urge to move on is too great to ignore. I must go. I reluctantly must go. This fireplace is so warm, this home is so secure and welcoming. Not even a visit from the Blackness since Lake Charles. I hate leaving here. As I wrote earlier, I could live the remainder of my life in this home. I could have done that in the Anderson home back in Axis as well. I can't explain this urge that I have. It is like a hunger that can't be quenched. The only way I can at least deal with this urge is to be moving onward toward Van Horn. Van Horn.....I have no idea what awaits me there. But, it's the end of the road, the end of Hwy 90. I know it is confusing as to how I have this knowledge that Van Horn is what holds my destiny. I just feel it, diary. It's there gnawing at me all the time. I can't shake the feeling that things are about to get worse for me as I drive deeper into Texas. Whatever happens, will just have to happen. Time to go.

10:12AM
Dear Diary

It has taken me almost three hours to ride this Honda Gold Wing to Liberty, TX. It has been horrible.....in some places on Hwy 90 I dropped to about 5MPH. The snow is extremely slick in places. It is extremely difficult navigating my way around all the abandoned vehicles on this highway. The numerous oil tanker trucks heading for Houston is a major problem. Some are overturned, caught fire and caused numerous cars to also catch on fire. There are so many burned out shells of what were cars at one time. I stopped at one point when I saw a book in the middle of the road. I stopped, walked over and picked up the book....Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut. Someone had good taste in literature. Man's inhumanity to man...loved the movie. I was unable to stay longer. The sky is getting a bit more gray. I am tired and will rest for a few minutes. The snow has let up. I want to try and make it to Dayton. It is next on my map. I will eat there and stay the night. I hate to run off without checking out Liberty. But, I want to get at least one more city under my belt before I call it a day. Dayton is just a few miles on down the road. The sky is a very strange gray. I better get moving.

12:37PM
Dear Diary

I am in Dayton. Let me correct myself.....I am in the city that once was Dayton. Like a couple of other cities on my journey, this city has also burned down to the ground. Not one house, one building is standing. There is nowhere for me to spend the night. I could ride back to Liberty and spend the night. But, the snow.....the ever present snow is falling again. This time, it is snowing heavily. I can't chance it. And it is just after noon and it appears to be getting dark....too dark. I've got to get this pup tent set up, unroll my sleeping bag and try to eat something.

3:51PM
Dear Diary

I am using a candle in this little pup tent I have set up on the emergency lane of Hwy 90. Why don't I get in one of the abandoned vehicles? I could do that. But, I am going to try this pup tent for a while and I can stretch out better. It feels more cozy here. It is still cold. But, I am willing to wager these snow encrusted cars are like ice boxes. Still, if I get too cold, I will give it a try. I forgot to say why I am using a candle, diary. It is not quite 4PM and it is pitch black outside. I know it gets dark in winter fairly early. But, this is unusually dark. I'm already nervous about this. It should not be midnight dark at 4PM. Not even in the dead of winter. Not in east Texas. I had cold cans of vienna sausage for lunch, some stale crackers and beef jerky. I suppose I will have the same for dinner. I cannot start up a disposable grill in this tent. And the snow would put out the fire. So, I just have to cuddle up in this sleeping bag, with my jacket over me and hope for the best. Another city that is mysteriously burned to the ground. I've been curious about this. This is the third city this has happened. Is it because of riots? Things happened so quickly during The Event, I doubt people had time to organize to riot. But, riot about what? Or did the Blackness set this entire city on fire and for what reason? Why just specific cities? Speak of “the devil”.....I have not seen or heard from the Blackness since the incident at the police station in Lake Charles. I know I have not seen the last of the Blackness. I have this ability to sense the Blackness. I have not “sensed” it since Lake Charles. And, for some strange reason, that worries me now.

7:20PM
Dear Diary

I cannot put into words just how cold.....and how dark it is outside this tent. It is incredible! I blew out the candle and put my left hand outside the tent. I could not see my own hand. I lit the candle right back with a lighter. I think I will let it burn tonight, as dangerous as that seems. I will just have to be careful not to turn over the candle holder. I remember when I was a boy scout, I.....I know I am most likely hallucinating.....but I thought I heard people laughing. I am almost positive I heard that. I'm not going outside to see. Some things are better left undetected. That is my motto for this brave new world in which I must live. I'm really starting to think I have lost it now. Maybe a little wine will calm my nerves.

10:03PM
Dear Diary

Tomorrow, I will leave for Houston if the snow does not get any worse. I may or may not stick around Houston to check things out. Houston is such a big city. It will take up more time than I think I have. I continue to have this sluggish feeling for reasons I cannot explain. One reason I stopped on Hwy 90 today (when I picked up the Kurt Vonnegut classic), was due to a feeling of weakness. I don't understand what is happening. How can I start getting sick when I have to face off that spawn of hell down the road? You know.....I don't ask God for much, diary. Just a few pleas of help every now and then. I have overcome so much since The Event. My own fears, my own frustrations and my own questions about my faith in God. I know things are about to get worse.....much worse. I can't fight as a sick, fragile, 65 year old man DAMN IT!!!!! It's me.....the weakest of God's creations against a demon as mighty as anything the Prince of Darkness can conjure up. I'm no match for this thing. Even in good health how can.....ok, either I am losing my mind.....or I have again heard people laughing. It is laughing like at a party or maybe even a backyard BBQ. And now.....and now.....a final injustice; I can hear Ralph barking. Darkness or not, Blackness or not, I'm going outside to see what is going the hell on!!!!

I went outside....and I could indeed hear people talking.....laughing. I shouted, I screamed until my lungs burned, my throat is hurting. But, it was to no avail. And, just as it suddenly started.....it suddenly stopped.....in the total, complete darkness. I heard Ralph bark again and I shouted, “RALPH!!! COME, BOY, COME!!!!” And so help me God.....he answered me the way he always did with that single, familiar, loving “WOOF.” I know it's not possible he's out here in the dead of night in a burned out shell of a city called Dayton, TX. But, I couldn't help but cry out to him.....and to the people I know I heard. Maybe.....maybe this is just another way for the Blackness to get to me, to destroy my morale, my determination to continue on to Van Horn, TX. Maybe the Blackness thinks I'm ready to give up. I'm suffering from some sort of strange sickness, I'm cold, I'm wet, I'm scared and I'm tired. I'm tired of it all. I'm been through so much. The Blackness thinks victory is at hand and I'm ready to cash in my chips.....



He is wrong.